Tuesday, February 24, 2009

All I'm saying is. . .

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

To understand the significance of this post you have to understand the long-standing relationship between my husband and sluggacide. He is a bonafide slug serial killer. He would rejoice to see a slug at the doorstep and encourage our little ones to partake in his merciless ritual of "salting". Now for the pain: We all "salt" things for one reason or another. We watch seemingly insignificant things and events shrivel up and die because we pour the "salt" of negativity or doubt on them and wonder why our lives are not going anywhere (Although snails left alone move slowly they still move). I propose to you today that maybe we need to start using a dash of pepper-faith here and there to kick-start the growth and movement we are desiring to (or maybe even didn't know we could) experience in our lives. I know it seems perhaps I was pouring a little salt of my own on my spouse and his sinister doings, but you must know, all is not lost for HE sent me this clip! All I'm saying is: Never underestimate the potential of using that dash of spice in your life. Mix it up: The results could be life-altering. . .

Wednesday, February 18, 2009


Like the wind
You are everywhere
All at once
Changing the very atmosphere
We cannot see You
Yet your effects are evident
Surely standing in this gentle sway
I can feel You
All at once
Shifting my cherished paradigms
I can SEE You
I CAN see You
Your effects are evident and
I am blown away
By your breath-taking elegance

Monday, February 16, 2009

Tooth Fairy During the Recession

My son lost his tooth two days ago and left it under his pillow. Since he lost the opposite tooth the week before and it took almost five days BEFORE he got his quarter, I decidedly decided that the "Tooth Fairy" would make good on her 24 hour return guarantee for his tooth investment (even if she didn't really have it). Because of a "tarantula-like" spider bear sitting up on the wall above my son's bed, I had to make an emergency kill with hornet spray and hope that it would suffice. I made a mental note to call the exterminator first thing in the morning as I listened to the rapidly forming corpse scratch and claw its last in the windowsill and then removed the spray contaminated sheets from my son's bed. The tooth was still under his pillow and I rationalized that I would take care of his tooth deposit with his piggy bank and replace the money when I got change for a dollar. Because piggy banks weren't made to be quiet, I clanked and clinked as every kind of coin other than a quarter fell noisily on the dresser and prayed my little ones couldn't hear my dubious task, but alas, those little radar ears brought none other than the toothless wonder himself to the door of his bedroom to see what was the matter. I heard the shuffle behind me, turned to look, and he gave me his most precious "boy-boy" smile. I smiled back and immediately began to put the coins back in his bank. My son turned around at the door and called to his brother to re-assure him that everything was okay saying, "It's just Mom stealing money from our piggy. . ."

B.A.M., A Shack, and a Novel in Black and White

I suppose I must explain to you where this sudden burst of excitement and joy has stemmed from (especially in my last post). I told you how God met me at Books-A-Million but I didn't really tell you how it all began. . . It was a sunny, yet chilly day in Central Florida. I had just come from a visit with a friend in Lakeland, FL with her book by Claudia Mair Burney, Zora and Nicky: A Novel in Black and White. It was a more than a novel of race relations and religion. It was my first real awareness of my need to step off the cliff with God, and to truly begin the Faith and Love relationship that both God and I had been clamoring for my whole life. I read that 400 page novel in 4 hours. I sat in my bed reading and relishing every experience, every heartache, and every triumph. I knew the characters were fictional, but I also knew that those experiences with God were more than real. They are essential. Now that I've said that, I must go into what happens next. . .I am still in a state of relative dizziness from digesting and regurgitating and digesting Mair Burney's book again, when I am introduced to yet another novel: The Shack by William Paul Young. I was by no means prepared for what God, or *smile* Papa as He is endearingly referred to in the book, was doing. He met me for a book club meeting in The Shack at B.A.M. I died, He revived me. Now I die daily and He keeps bringing me back for more of Him and I can't get enough. I met God in my chair and He told me how especially fond He is of me. Sometimes it's so overwhelming that I revert to my old ways because I can't handle it. He wants me! And now I want Him more than I've ever wanted someone in my existence(I'm willing to venture that it was Him all along). More than my spouse, more than my parents, siblings, my own kids and I know that I'm the better for it. God, You know I mess up more now than I ever thought(or maybe admitted) I did before, but I'm in the safest place to fall: Your grace. It's beyond mere belief. It's a real love relationship that is so much deeper than I could ever have asked for from a human, and ever expected from a God who I now know is madly in love with me ;0) If you haven't had a chance to check out these books I actually recommend both of them. I do shameless plugs hence the link on the sidebar for The Shack and the link to http://ragamuffindiva.blogspot.com by Claudia Mair Burney that I just added :0) Papa bless all of us on our journey to really know Him (and by virtue of a genuine relationship, really,really LOVE him) for who He is and not what "institutions" have made Him to be. . .

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

God Met Me @ Books-A-Million

Yes, it's true. God met me at B.A.M. today and resembled a family of five. Never before had I truly believed that God would take a vested and hands-on interest in my life until today. I was supposed to go to B.A.M yesterday and my plans kept falling through. Today didn't seem any different from yesterday but today was different for God had it marked in HIS calendar for His time and purpose for my life. And the old adage is true: He's an on-time God. He may not come when you want Him, but he'll be there right on time. Boy, was he ever there too! My visit with Him took me from the realm of fantasy and faux living to the realm of the real and alive. Oh, I was breathing and my heart was beating, but I was on Spiritual life support. I was given C.P.R. (Creator's Presence Restored) and God resurrected the hope of Glory in me. I know now why I have been so thirsty and hungry. I was merely surviving when I should have been walking forward in the Fullness of Life. The Life God is talking about transcends this cosmic hologram we call life. God is so beyond us that we will never fully understand Him or His ways. He shook me to my very core by leading me step by step with the very words he spoke to my heart and my heart alone and by speaking those words aloud to me through someone else. He gave me no more room to make excuses and to run and play the babe in arms. He showed me the Jordan and said "Ok. I'm ready when you are." He doesn't have to cross the Jordan, but I do and he has taken me as far as He has willed and shown me how it's my turn to take the first step into real bonafide faith walking. "Here's the edge of the cliff with the precipice below. All those in favor of Abbabiding please take one step forward." No guarantee of safety. No promise of prosperity on earth. No hope of this earth's glory and greatness. No assurance that I would survive. It's more than mere name and claim. It's not prosperity, it's true poverty. It's the willingness to trust him when all logic and conventional wisdom cries insanity. It's the willingness to look like a madman or a fool. It's the gaul to walk this earth and play by none of the previously sin-established rules and roles. It's a choosing the most meaningful relationship over the most "realistic". It's the will to die to really live. And God took the time to come to me, little already-been-weaned-but-I-want-my-milk-bottle-faith-waaaah me, and said, "I thought you said you were ready to eat? I'm not serving milk-faith anymore. We've got steak and potatoes-faith with collard-green-and-mac-and-cheese-faith on the side. And a scoop of grace for dessert. I'm waiting on you to take the first step to the table." God had me angry, angst-ful, somber, terrified, mortified and thrilled with a wondrous joy I've never before experienced all in the space of an hour and my heart's burden is gone. Those questions of whys and what ifs and whens, wheres and hows are gone and He replaced them with the understanding that my life starts right here, right now without the safety net. Outside of abiding in Him, life is irrelevant. Dare I say, fatal. God is not safe, but He IS Good. Really truly Good and worthy of my meager offering of trust. Who God wants me to be I am already by His grace and I will NEVER be the same again.

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