Monday, May 22, 2006
What In The World Am I Thinking?
It's about a quarter to midnight and I am wide awake wondering why. I don't have to be up. There are hundreds of reasons why I should be asleep, yet for some reason sleep eludes me. Well I suppose one obvious reason I can't sleep is that my three year old calls my name like a broken record hoping that I will indulge his midnight rendevous after I already spent a hefty quarter of an hour finding the perfect thickness and ergonomical arrangement of the bedcover for him! And then, perhaps another reason has absolutely nothing to do with my Little Midnight Wonder: I can't sleep because my mind is full and fully awake. I can't sleep because the big wheels keep on turnin' and I have no idea of what to do about my renegade steamship riverboat "Proud Martha". It is so easy to say "Life hands you a lemon. . . (you know the rest of the saying)." But sometimes making lemonade is not so simple. Sometimes problems may be or seem simple and yet they present perfect imposssiblities. I didn't expect my car to blow up (well actually, die) yesterday only days after paying a mint to get it out of the shop. I didn't plan on needing a new vehicle as I am preparing to put my oldest child in private school in the Fall (those places charge tuition!). I didn't expect for an additional 500-600 dollars to come out of my husband's already elastic paycheck this month due to someone else's miscalculations (especially since his is the only income we have)! There really aren't always simple answers to the simplest problems in life, or, are there? I'm sitting here in my chair wondering if it is as simple as just getting up off my butt and doing something about the problem. Can't you just go to work CeCe, and put the baby in daycare? Sure, if that would solve all the problems. But does that one move solve all the problems? Possibly, but what about those times when there is absolutely nothing (and I repeat nothing) that can be done (by me) about them? Where do I go from that point? Self-help gurus (who by the way probably do not have the problems I have because there are enough people like me to get them out of some of their problems with each book purchase)? Eastern Religion? No religion? So many questions, so little time to answer them. To be (rich, gorgeous, skinny, popular, forever young, ease-y, debt free, self-sufficient, you name it) or not to be (rich, gorgeous, skinny, popular, forever young, ease-y, debt free, self-sufficient, you name it)? Are those the questions? Just curious. I know what my answer is but I would love to know what you think. So, don't be afraid to mention what you think the answers may be. Good morning.