Thursday, September 17, 2009
It Ain't Easy Being Me
I think I'm in spiritual limbo right now. I'm not trying to cross over to the 'dark side' (I don't care how good the cookies are); I just think that I'm in a state of semi-consciousness. My spiritual routine is gone. I can't think to pray in the morning and I beg God at night to wake me up the next morning so that I can give it another go. My day is like fireworks from the moment my eyes open and I'm hopping. I feel so pressed and pulled at the same time. I just want to feel peaceful. Don't you feel peaceful with the peace of God? I mean, you know, if I have the peace of God I should feel peaceful, right? My little baby wants me to play with him all day and when I can't he finds all of MY stuff and throws it around the house as if he's trying to say, "I'll fix you, heifer!" And after the aftermath of Hurricane Jeremy, my husband wants dinner when he gets home but my older two boys want attention and snacks(and lunch, and dinner, and another snack and a pre-bedtime nightcap--yes, another snack) and NOT to do homework or change out of their school clothes. And you know, it's not the fact that they want these things, it's the battles that ensue when I say and/or show them "no". I have a head of braids that are fuzzing up and I never even finished the back of my head. My house is in a state of discombobulation. I don't even have time for the projects I'm supposed to work on with all of their deadlines and timelines to follow and where do I get the audacity to think that I can get this all done in Jesus' name? I don't know ya'll (pardon my Southern-ness), I call shenanigans. It's a conspiracy: A C-O-N-spiracy! Listen, I may or may not take your advice, but feel free to either sympathize, post your own complaints or tell me something good.